Want to build a high performing team? You need to master feedback
In this episode of Lead the Room, Lyndsey and Briony tackle one of the most challenging aspects of leadership: giving and receiving feedback. Feedback is often touted as critical for personal and team growth, yet many leaders struggle to deliver it effectively, especially when addressing poor performance. Lyndsey shares how feedback, when done poorly, can feel bland, awkward, or even counterproductive. Together, they explore why creating a feedback culture is essential and provide practical strategies for making it a habit.
Key Takeaways:
Normalize Feedback in Your Leadership Practice
Make feedback a regular, weekly practice rather than saving it for mid-year or annual reviews.
As a leader, go first—ask your team for feedback to model openness and build trust.
Master the Art of Positive Feedback
Go beyond generic praise. Be specific about the behavior or action and its impact.
Highlight behaviors you want to see repeated, and celebrate unique contributions to motivate your team.
Reframe Constructive Feedback
Start by explaining why you're giving the feedback, emphasizing your belief in the person’s potential.
Be specific about the action and its impact, then collaborate on solutions to foster growth.
The hosts dive deep into real-life examples, including Lyndsey’s transformational experience receiving honest, in-the-moment feedback early in her career. They also discuss the importance of addressing self-awareness in team members and how to frame feedback to ensure it’s heard and acted upon.
This episode is packed with actionable tips, including role-play scenarios and research-backed strategies from thought leaders like Adam Grant and Kim Scott (Radical Candor). Whether you're a new manager or a seasoned leader, you’ll walk away equipped to create a feedback culture that drives high performance and growth.
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Full transcript
LeadTheRoom (00:00.046)
Welcome to Lead the Room podcast, where we help those with great ideas and brilliant minds to become amazing leaders and build teams full of purpose, connection, creativity and courage, transforming people's experience of workplaces and leadership. In 2018, we decided that the leadership playbook we saw around us
wasn't working for the needs of our teams and our organisations, or frankly for us. So we ripped it up, built a new one, and watched the incredible impact that came from leading in a completely counter-cultural way. This journey transformed our experience of work, team culture, delivery, and felt so, so good to us. And our approach has served us and our teams in the good times and in the tough times alike.
So now we're here to share our stories, experiences with you so you can become the leader you want to be, build teams that deliver amazing things in amazing environments and inspire those around you to do the same. You and your leadership are what our workplace and people desperately need. We'll be laughing, crying and learning together. Let's get started.
LeadTheRoom (01:23.79)
I don't know about you, Bryony, but I feel like ever since I started work, like leaders and HR departments, they're always coming up with like new or in many cases just rehashing kind of old ideas of how to give feedback. And every year there's a new kind of campaign to be like, feedback's so important, make sure you give it to your staff. So we're told it's important all the time and our staff...
Usually our staff survey results tell us that we're actually really bad at it, particularly in relation, I think, to poor performance, giving feedback on when people are just not performing well. There are those kind of tick-box feedback courses, Barney, right, that you can go on as a leader, and I've definitely been on them, like how to give feedback. But none of them actually make us good at giving and receiving feedback, I think. So why is this? Well, if it's not done properly, it can be flipping awkward.
I mean, I'm just thinking about some situations that I've been in. It's hard. And most people actually would just rather avoid it. So lots of leaders absolutely dread giving feedback. They don't like getting it. They don't like giving it. They've tried to give it in the past and it's turned out really, really badly and into a huge thing, or it's just been disastrous. And they've been giving feedback themselves in an awful way. And actually it's left them feeling terrible. So why on earth would you want to go back into that?
So they just avoid it. And we absolutely get that. Well, so what, why does that matter? Is it really worth that pain to give the feedback, Bryony? Personally, Lindsay, I really think it is worth it. And that's why at Lead the Room, feedback is one of the core tools that sits under our courage skill. so, know, companies, so few companies genuinely have a culture that normalizes feedback.
And so it's not a skill that leaders feel comfortable with. But you think about when you first stepped up as a leader or when you first had to chair a meeting, you probably didn't feel comfortable doing that either, did you? But you got used to it because there is no way of avoiding it. But because feedback, you could avoid doing it, can't you? It's just like, well, I'm not going to have that conversation.
LeadTheRoom (03:37.167)
Because you can avoid it, you don't practice the skill, but you can't avoid chairing meetings. And so you have grown in your skill in doing it. And so I think that's what we're going to do today. We're going to talk you through some really practical and simple things that you can do to start integrating feedback into your weekly, that is right, weekly leadership practice. And we're going to change that. We're going to help you feel confident in actually giving and receiving some feedback.
Brian, I don't know about you, but I could actually count on one hand the amount of feedback conversations that I've had over my career that have actually been helpful. I can't really think of many that have been disastrous or particularly negative, but a whole theme I'd say throughout my career in terms of feedback is it has been unbelievably bland. And that's the blandness of it that has made it so unhelpful.
And so often the feedback isn't even accurate. I found that it's almost been like a description of my personality, which is like, you're really engaging and you're really, you're really good at building relationships with people and you're so bubbly and Lindsay's bubbly personality or Lindsay's outgoing personality. And I'm like, that's not feedback. Like, but that's kind of where I've been for the last kind of 15 years of my career. And it almost takes me back to school.
The teacher saying, Lindsay's a delight to have in the class. Okay, great. That is not helpful. That's not going to get me my next job. And also it's just, it's not feedback. Like it's, it's an observation on your personality, but I don't need feedback on my personality. I know my personality does certain things, but it's not helpful. But that's definitely been a theme. I can't take any actions from it. And actually when I've dug deeper with
certain leaders at the time have got, but what is it? Like, what can I do with that? It's like they've not even taken time to think about what it is, what that feedback is they're trying to give me. They've just thought, well, we'll just kind of summarize Lindsay in this meeting, because it's nice. Like, she can't argue with it. It's a nice thing to hear. But I can't do anything with it. So it's totally useless. And that's even when I have kind of challenge of like, well, any pointers and it's like, just keep being you.
LeadTheRoom (05:57.567)
Not helpful, like at all. So that's been really, that's kind of been a real kind of theme throughout my career, I'd say. Until I had one really, really good piece of feedback. And that was, again, when I first took on my first leadership post, and it was definitely the best boss I've ever had. And he didn't wait until kind of, I made your review, or he didn't wait until the end of the year.
He took the opportunity in the moment to give me feedback when he noticed actually that I was struggling and the way that I was approaching my job was having a negative impact both on myself and both of my team. And at the time I was actually quite taken aback the fact that he'd approached me to tell me this because I think as a new leader I kind of wanted to feel like I knew what I was doing, I had it all. I didn't almost want the feedback but as soon as he gave me that feedback and I reflected on it
It was the best thing that has actually happened to me in my career. Had he not stopped me at that moment and given me very honest feedback that actually couldn't have been easy for him to give, I would have just continued that approach and thought I was doing absolutely fine because no one had said otherwise. Or if I got to the end of the year and wasted a whole year leading a team with a completely wrong approach, possibly having much more of a detrimental impact than I realised.
And he was the first person that's given me specific in the moment feedback that I could actually take action on the next day. And I was like, wow, this is, this feels different. This is really, really good. From then on, it was just that bland, bubbly personality feedback. But yeah, that was for me, the two kind of standouts, the bland versus the in the moment specific, actually quite transformational feedback for me.
Yeah, that really resonates with me because I agree like so many leaders, you just get to the end of your report and that's the feedback moment. That is the feedback culture that is normalized. You just get to the end of the year and that's when you do the feedback. so obviously you want to write nice things and you're doing 12 of these reports and so if you're number 11 in the pile, well, obviously your report is not looking as good as the others, right? I don't know about you, but it's like,
LeadTheRoom (08:16.387)
They get training doing those things. But also then the words get so generic, don't they? because you're like, I just want it, because by the time you've got to 11, you're like, I just wanted this done. I want this out of my life. If you're in that moment, like I hear you because that's how I feel about these things. Anyway, obviously very important. But, and so then they're reaching around for something to give you some kind of growth feedback because they know that that's what
is expected in these end of year appraisals that it's got to be like 85 % positive, 15 % and here's a thing to develop because that's the standard formula and script everybody's working off. And so then they'll write something down, like you say, and it's just a bit meaningless and it's not personal. And like you say, the feedback I often get is you need to worry about taking on too much because people don't...
realize the capacity I have. actually the way I work is I'm actually quite comfortable at the pace I'm working at, like it's not burning me out. Like we've talked on some of the previous episodes, like I've got lot of good resilience practices in my life and maybe for them it would be too much, but it's actually not too much for me. And so again, it's just like, well, you just don't feel seen when you get that blind feedback and it erodes trust, right? That's what I don't like about it. Whereas in your example, what's really powerful is the guy has seen you.
He knows the kind of leader that you can be. He's seen your potential, but he also knows that if he doesn't give you this feedback, he's going to be robbing you of an opportunity for growth that is going to create a roadblock in your career further down the line. And that's why it's coming from a place of generosity and being on your side. And that's what I really like about it. That's really good. It's really interesting. just as reflecting, Barney, just as you spoke about
that assumption of, you're maybe taking on too much, you've got to be careful. they didn't know you and that demonstrated they didn't know you as a person that actually could take on that. And that was good for you. And very similar to that, I've had in the past people saying, gosh, you need to be more confident. You need to ask questions. You need to share more of your ideas. You've got really good ideas. And I'm thinking in my head, well, the reason I'm not sharing those ideas, because I don't feel safe.
LeadTheRoom (10:35.899)
There's no psychological safety in this team to share those ideas. And if you listened to our episode last week about psychological safety, you'll understand kind of the impact on that. So there was no issue with my confidence. It was the issue with the team and my ability to share feeling I was able to share in that team. So when people write, again, I hate people writing that in reports, who'd be a bit more confident. What does that even mean? Like what, so how do I get there? And it's also feedback that is so often given to women, isn't it? And you're like,
And again, it speaks to the environment, you know, well, it's going to be kind of hard for me to be more confident if every time I speak up or if every time I try and act a different way and be more confident, it's not received well. anyway, let's not go down that rabbit hole. about you, Brainy? What's some experience of feedback that you've had? I'm going to share quite, I'm going to share an example from a couple of years ago.
when I had a member of staff who was really high potential, they were doing a really great job, but they were quite new in the post. And you could see that they really wanted to make a good go of it and were really trying really hard. And they had this big moment, this big project that they were leading, which they had taken point on and the project had ended and it just hadn't quite gone as they had anticipated. And it hadn't quite had the impact that they had wanted or
I had wanted and I'd been part of the project delivery. so I'd seen quite a few things along the course of like the final, you know, end product, which was like a week long thing that I was like, I can, but I couldn't, I didn't want to intervene in the week because the preparation had all been done. It like, it would have thrown the person off completely. And so, but it wasn't a disaster to be clear. It just, there were quite a few teething troubles and you could just tell that this person had
hadn't thought about several things and just needed some, you know, some prompters, right? And so at the end of the week, I said to them, well, how do you think, how do you think it went? And because I had done a lot of work, you know, we talked about one-to-ones and how important that is. We talked about psychological safety last week. They sort of said to me, well, you know, I think it's been a good success from this point of view, you know, in terms of the actual outcome that everybody could see.
LeadTheRoom (12:57.081)
But behind the doors, Briony, I just feel like things didn't go well at all. And I said, that's really interesting that you think that because I've seen some of that too. So should we have a really, would you welcome a really candid feedback conversation where we can look at that together and then think about what the action plan is for the next time that you do this? Because I can see that you really tried hard to make this a big success, but some things just didn't work out. So would you welcome that?
And she was like, yes, I would really welcome that. So I said, well, then come on, you, you do some reflection yourself before you leave today, before the weekend, like just write down the five things that you think went well and the five things that you think could have been better. I'll do the same. And then we'll come back to it fresh after the weekend and you know, have a deep dive on it together. So we did that. And then we sat down and because we were doing it together, we actually can't, you know, what I made her go first.
and share the things that she didn't think went well. And then by the time that she got to the end of her list, I was like, well, I've got a couple of other things, but really, can you see that you've identified all the growth points for yourself? then we explored like the thread that went through them. And I was like, think the big thing is just find it hard to ask for help. And if you'd asked for help from some of your colleagues, then you could have avoided these things because they have the skills and knowledge that could have helped you anticipate doing things differently.
And because again, she had led the experience and she had led the conversation, she was much more open to feeling that and then taking, she was much more open to taking that on board and then doing something with it and changing. And so was actually a really, I feel like a really positive conversation. Like she said to me afterwards, no, that was a really positive conversation. I feel like I've learned a lot just from that conversation and I've got a whole checklist now of things that I would do differently another time, but I'm going to go away and think more.
about how I asked for help because that's clearly something that I find hard. And by really just taking a different coaching approach, I suppose, it allowed her to come to her own conclusion on some of the things and it made the conversation so much easier in terms of me being able to say, what would have if I'd done it a different way, like quite hard messages, like, you you haven't done this stuff well or we should not, that's not really what I was saying. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think that's such a wonderful example. And
LeadTheRoom (15:25.807)
such a good approach to kind of what a good conversation about. When we speak about feedback, the feedback is a mechanism to start the growth, isn't it? To kind of keep that growth. So I think we often think if this feedback is you get your feedback and it's kind of it's good or bad and it's a bit like getting your school report, isn't it? Like the feedback is like, well, that's it. No, no, no. This feedback is a start of a conversation in which you then kind of develop that growth, that plan for going forward. And I think
the idea of doing it together in the way that you did. The one thing I would observe and I'd really interested in your thoughts on is that she was obviously a very self-aware individual. So she was able to take that step back. She reflected, she could see what there was, what she wanted to change. There's a lot of people that are just not self-aware. When you are leading someone and your people in your team who are not self-aware, that can be when giving the feedback is challenging, isn't it? Yeah. And I think when you,
That is a really true thing to point out. Like I said, she's a really high potential member of staff. I love that way how you describe it as like the feedback is the start of the growth because you can see now, like she's taking it all on board, no issues. But you're right, like so many people don't have that self-awareness to even know. And I think that's when we come into the tips, we're going to kind of tackle that a bit, aren't we? Yeah, absolutely. So do you want to give our listeners a first tip for the week, on feedback?
Absolutely. So the first tip that we're going to share is about trying to build that culture in your team that really normalizes feedback. Like Brian and I've said, like, don't save it until the mid year, the end of the year. This should be a weekly thing. Now, at the moment, hearing that, that might be feel like, wow, that is very alien, the idea of giving weekly feedback like what are you on about? But again, this becomes a habit.
and normalize it, it's part of your culture and you almost don't even think about it after a while. But as we say on Lead the Room, as a leader, you have to go first. So it is your responsibility here to really put that into action by going first and starting to normalize that. So what does that look like? Well, the first thing that you can do is you can ask for feedback as a leader. So invite it, say that you need it. It's not a...
LeadTheRoom (17:51.327)
gosh, we have to do this. We have to do this because corporate HR tells us we've got to give feedback once a year. No, no, no, we need it. So you've already spoken in some of your different meetings about obviously your objectives, about your growth as a team. You need that feedback as a team. So it's not a kind of nice to have. You have to get it into your team as a must have and that you need it in order to grow as a team.
So you will absolutely want to invite that. So you have to demonstrate it kind of visibly by asking your team. Again, weave that feedback into any opportunity you can get, any interaction with your team. So whether it's immediately after a meeting, during a meeting, a one-to-one, whatever it is, there's so many opportunities that you can quite casually, it's not a formal thing, it doesn't have to be a formal sit-down meeting. As you're walking back from a meeting, kind of ask someone, like...
What did you think of that? there anything you think I could have done better in that meeting? What did I miss? What should I do differently next time? What would work for you better? All these things. Because then it makes it a bit personal between you and that person. And then it's just like, cool. We can just give feedback quite casually in our team and put it into place quite immediately afterwards. That is such a good tip. And I think, like you say,
By starting that conversation as a leader in a really informal way, like you said, on the way back from the meeting or in your one-to-one, is there anything that you see that I could have done better or differently this week? Anything more that you'd like to see from me or whatever, it just really starts to normalize that feedback is a part of our conversation as a team. And tip two really builds on that and that is to really get better and master positive feedback. So, and then this is an easy place to start giving feedback.
You know, diving in and giving some of the constructive feedback, that's quite hard, but giving positive feedback and learning how to do it using a model that you're going to use for constructive feedback is really powerful. So no more of the bland, know, Lindsay has a bubbly personality or great job on that project. Loved how you chaired that meeting. No more of that. You're going to be really specific in your positive feedback, just in the way that you would have to be if you're doing constructive feedback.
LeadTheRoom (20:07.745)
So instead of saying great project, you might say something like, that was a fantastic project, Lindsay. I really liked how you did insert behavior. It had a massive impact on whatever it had a massive impact on. And by being specific about the behaviors that you saw and the impact it had, it's going to help your member of staff know what you valued in their positive contribution.
And then to do it again, because that's what you're trying to encourage with the positive feedback is like, I liked it when you did this, please do more, you know, carry on doing this. And you want, cause you want them to repeat the behavior. So it's sort of saying great job, specific behaviors that led to it or specific actions that led to it, and then sharing more about the impact of that. And when you give positive feedback like that to your team, it's going to make them feel like so much more motivated.
I can think of the times, it's like when you're that feedback story that you shared, Lindsay, I can think of the times that people are giving positive feedback to me in that framework and they're the things that stick with me. And I want to work for those people because that's actually quality advice and guidance, but it's also quality praise. You know, I actually feel celebrated in that moment because quite often they'll be calling out behavior or impact that I was like, I really thought I'd done well on that too. And then sometimes.
They'll be like, it will make me see myself from a different perspective. Like maybe I didn't even realize that this behavior that's quite normal to me is something that adds a really unique contribution to the team. And that's going to give me such a motivation boost. Yeah, absolutely. So if you've tried tip one and two already, the next thing that you're going to try is getting used to giving constructive feedback. And again, this is something that we often leave, isn't it, Briny, until...
the end of year, the mid year. And that's when it can feel so much harder. So we're not going to do that. We're going to give in the moment, specific feedback like Bryony mentioned that really helps your team see themselves and their actions from a new perspective. So this isn't about blaming or shaming or you did this badly or you didn't do this. It's about offering a new perspective. So this is quite, I think, quite a fresh approach to feedback, Bryony, don't you? Yeah.
LeadTheRoom (22:27.783)
Yeah, really do. So the first thing that you're going to do in this is tell them why you're giving them the feedback. So I can't think of any examples actually of when anyone has ever told me why they're giving me the feedback other than they've been told to by HR. So Adam Grant, who we're a big fan of, says that just by starting the feedback, by saying something like, I'm giving you these comments because I've got very high expectations,
and I know that you can reach them. So immediately you're starting off with a, I'm giving you these comments, I'm giving you this feedback because it's a really positive thing, got high expectations and I know you can reach them. So it dramatically improves someone's ability to hear the feedback. Because how often do you hear the sentence, I'm about, I'm gonna give you some feedback and people just go, they've just shut off, they're not listening. Because in that sentence,
that member of staff can hear in the words that you're using that you are rooting for them to succeed. You've already said, know you can meet those high expectations. And the difference that makes Brian is huge, isn't it? Yeah, it really does make a difference. I think it's because being clear about your motivations and why you're offering the feedback, it's just great to be explicit about it, isn't it? Because you're not offering them the feedback to like crush them. Like who's doing that? You don't want to work for that person.
you're doing it because you want to help them learn and grow. And if they can really hear that in how you're framing the growth feedback, the constructive feedback, then already they're going to feel more safe and calm and ready to hear the message. absolutely. And it's a lot like the research Kim Scott in Radical Candor has actually done. Do you have a read of that? Yeah, it's a lot like Kim Scott's research. And we really love her stuff in Radical Candor because she talks about
having to give feedback and needing to give feedback from a place of compassion, but also to serve your colleague, to serve your peer and your staff members, but being candid about what wasn't good, what didn't work. So it's this kind of mix of compassion and candor. And so that's the Adam Grant phrase helps you bring in some of that compassion, but then you're going to be really clear with your member of staff or whoever it is you're giving feedback to, what was the action that
LeadTheRoom (24:50.733)
didn't, that wasn't great. What was the impact of that action? So they can see the cause and effect from where you were sitting. And then you're going to explore a solution together. And this is particularly if it's a member of staff. And so what that can look like in a real conversation is, you you say your bit and you've kind of thought about it beforehand. In this moment, I observed this action, it had this impact. And then maybe ask them a question that's going to get them to reflect.
Did you see that too? Or did you observe that happening? What are your thoughts on this? Then they will say something back and then you can say, well, how can we do it differently next time? And even just by using the pronoun we, you're kind of, that's exploring the solution together. It's making them feel supported and like they're not going to be alone in finding a solution. And then it kind of opens up the conversation for them to explore and you to explore with them. Like, well, what is it that we could do?
How can we make this better and different? Yeah, exactly. And it's a really different kind of approach to feedback, isn't it, Bryony? And it can be so much more kind of collegiate as well. And if we're thinking about kind of bringing different perspectives into the team, which we've spoken about last week on our psychological safety episode, then this is a wonderful way to approach it. Again, would be one you'll need to experiment with. But again, we're all about experimentation. So do give it a go.
So if you found that helpful, please give it a go and share your experience with us. And if you want even more advice and guidance and ideas on feedback, then head to our learning lab or at leadtheroom.co.uk and we have got a feedback challenge kit that is going to help you really understand all of the skills, the tips, the frameworks, the preparation, really in a deep way and guide you through how to become a master of feedback.
So if you'd like to give that a go and you want to learn more, then head over to our website and pick up that leadership challenge. Yeah. And speaking of feedback, Brian, right? We need yours. So for obviously for us to continue to learn and to grow exactly what you want to hear from us, we need to make sure that this podcast remains relevant to your roles, that it's hitting the mark and to know what we can do differently. What you like, what you don't like. So if you can leave us a comment here on any of our episodes, or you can send us a DM on Instagram.
LeadTheRoom (27:14.199)
or an email at hello at leadtheroom.co.uk. Whatever works best for you, we are here to listen and learn. So please do get in contact with us. Fantastic. Now let's go into our Walk the Week, So how are we celebrating you this week? So one of the things that I really proud of this week was I'm quite new to the team that I'm in. And sometimes I'm definitely...
guilty of, I'll wait till I'm a bit more established in the team before sharing ideas. Now, I'm not entirely sure why I do that. Maybe I just like to have a little bit of credibility in the team before I share ideas, get a bit of a sense of the people in the team, not sure how they react. But this week, I felt like I've got some really great ideas. I'm not gonna sit on them. So I did, and one of the things I find, if I'm in a meeting, if I don't share my ideas,
very early in the meeting and speak early in the meeting, I won't probably speak much at all. So I wanted to get them out quite quickly. And I was really proud that I did because I did feel that by doing that, and I think people could see like, she's the new person. She's quite new to this team and she's sharing ideas. maybe I could bring mine too. So it definitely had a bit of a ripple impact. yeah, I was quite proud of myself because that definitely took me kind of just physically pushing myself on my seat to be like,
Go, just share the idea, don't save it. So yeah, was proud myself. And there is actually quite a lot of, there is some research, isn't there, on actually speaking early in meetings and then the impact it has on your own confidence. So I really like that. And so we prepare these separately, but mine's quite similar to yours this week. So I was invited to a big conference and it was sort of a conference slash workshop and
I knew that I had, like you, knew that I had something to contribute to the debate that was going on, but I didn't know anybody really in that room. And everyone else I felt was like more senior, more important, more experienced than me. But I knew that I had something to offer. so after like the first couple of sessions, I was like, Briony, what would you say if someone from Leeds Room came to you and said, how should I approach this? What would your advice be to them? And then you've got to do it. I was like, well, I would tell them.
LeadTheRoom (29:36.879)
You've got to speak up, like get out of that comfort zone. And so I made myself do it. And I really didn't like it because it was such a foreign environment for me. And it felt really vulnerable. And then I don't know about you, I get it all in my head and I'm like, I should have said it like this or I should have said it like that. And it would have been more impactful if, but that wasn't the point. And I had to keep reminding myself, no, the point was, Briny, you got out of the comfort zone and you shared the idea and it did have an impact.
because in the next couple of sessions, your idea was picked up. yeah, just to kind of, you no matter what your level of experience, there is always moments of growth and getting out of the comfort zone. Yeah, I love that one, Bryony. Well done. I have those moments when you're saying like, you're having that reflection of, my gosh, what did I just say? Sometimes when I share something, I then think, were those words, was that actually words? Like, did I actually, like...
I think I made up that word. I don't think that's real. And is everyone looking at me because they're thinking that's not a real word. What is she even speaking about? Because you kind of do it and you're in that moment, aren't you? The adrenaline and you forget what you're actually saying. But yeah, well, I'm glad we were kind of sinking there this week. What about learning, Bryony? What have you learned this week? Well, I think really related to that is, like I said, I could feel myself kind of really ruminating on how I could have said it better, how I could have been more impactful.
and being just quite hard on myself. But that is what it feels like to be out of the comfort zone and it's okay. Nobody is really paying that much attention to what I have to say. They're also worried about themselves. But just really thinking about that mental self-talk. And I'm going to go on to my grow now actually, but I did feel this...
this week that I kind of recovered a bit faster because you know I've shared I've been using this app that's helping me you know think about how I'm talking to myself and how I can be more compassionate and kind and be more of an inner cheerleader for myself and I do feel that it has been helping me so those are kind of my learning and growth connected together. But what about you Lindsay? Yeah so I guess kind of related as well to my what I'm celebrating my learn I was definitely and I still am a little I know I definitely still am.
LeadTheRoom (31:57.391)
struggle of people don't kind of either understand or get on board with my ideas. I take it quite personally. okay. And it can be like, like I had someone this week, like they just didn't really understand the idea that I'm sharing and the approach that I said I think we should take. And again, I went back and I thought, is it the way I'm explaining it? And what? No, I just think they just didn't like it. Or they just were like, what are you even on about? And it
I think I just take it very personally as opposed to, well, it's just an idea. Like not everyone has to agree with every idea you have. And that's okay. Because we obviously we want challenge, we want different perspectives. And I think I just need to learn in that moment not to it's not a personal thing. It's just okay. In the same way that like there'll be lots of ideas that I think, no, that's not for me. But I need to stop taking that kind of personally. And I'm getting better but it's
It's maybe a growth one as well. But a big growth this week because I am planning over my first ever work trip overnight without my little baby. So I'm definitely feeling all the feels and having to kind of, we spoke about approaches before and kind of how that's going to work. of, yeah, the whole system at home is going to change for a couple of nights because I'm going to be away. And
thinking how I'm going to focus and yeah, lot of things. But again, this is a huge thing out of the comfort zone. I've not done this before. It'll be your first. So yeah, report back how it goes. that's such a, that is such a big moment, isn't it? Such a big moment. And so I think what I really love about what you've said is you're just like allowing, what I hear you doing is allowing yourself to feel the emotion and just sit with it.
and then move, you're still moving forward. You're not stopping yourself from doing it. You're still pressing forward out of the comfort zone, but not kind of denying the fact that actually this is a big moment and it feels hard. Yeah, no, absolutely. Acknowledge those feelings because it does make it easier acknowledging them. They exist. Don't try and hide them. So yeah, I'll probably be absolutely crying in my bedroom at some point or crying in the toilet, but that's absolutely fine. That's absolutely fine. It's absolutely fine. Just normal. So
LeadTheRoom (34:19.655)
Thank you so much for listening along with us today. We hope that you've got some really practical, actionable things that you can take forward this week when it comes to building a culture of feedback in your team. And if you really liked what you heard here today and you want to know more and do more and become a master of feedback, then head over to our learning lab at leadtheroam.co.uk and you can pick up a masterclass on how to be amazing at feedback. Let us know how you get on. Send us a DM, send us a comment and let us know what you think of the podcast as well, like Lindsay said.
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